i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize