bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm at about main and main street
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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