A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
