Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
