so that wasnt chicken after all
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
