I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
