im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
