please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
