omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
