i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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