he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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