What a fucking waste of an outfit
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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