Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
