Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
