ugly people sure do ruin things
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
