i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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