Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just wanna soil my oats bro
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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