put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Farmville is her only friend.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
