I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
