I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
