Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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