After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
