im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
