On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
