Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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