By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
