Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
