so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
