how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
