don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
