C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize