Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
