U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 ðŸžðŸ·
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
