3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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