Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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