I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Holy shit dude........stairs
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