And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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