I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize