somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
