and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
