There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
