They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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