I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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