sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
