I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
