Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
