Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
