I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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