Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
