i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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