i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
