Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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