they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
