I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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