11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize