Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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