we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
