I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
