last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
