Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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