I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize