Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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