I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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