I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
