'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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